Unsaid words

So many questions buzzing all around.
Sometimes you want to reply, and you have all the replies in your head...or most
They echo and scream all around in your head, and yet...you can't answer.
And you so badly want to answer, give them the answers they ask for...maybe questions which you might have asked yourself.
And..then you choose emotion.
The emotion takes over, and you are are rooted to the spot giving cursory cliche answers. You want to reply, and yet you've gone all blank.
The sundry clarifications have vanished from your mind, and you close your eyes wishing it was over. And unfortunately it isn't. It never is over.
And then you feel exposed, and strange. As if your insides are empty and cold.
And finally...when you are yourself again, you've regained composure, its too late. And the next set of indefinite days, you ask yourself why you never gave the answers, why you didn't speak up, and how you'll finally free yourself of this searing pain.
Sometimes, if you have something to say to someone, say it. Don't hold back and keep it within yourself. :)

LSR cats of chaos

I love cats. I really do. I think after dogs, they are the most lovable animals I've ever seen. BUT. My love has it's bounds. And a cat crosses the line if it stalks my food.
Yes, I do use the word 'stalk.' I'll illustrate the example of devilish feline creatures which haunt my college grounds, and more specifically the cafe.
While my friends and I would be having our conversations, one of us will let out a little scream. We turn around. Sure enough, there's a cat sitting on THE NEXT TABLE, eyeing our food which is laid out on the table. It will meow soberly. This is the signal. Before we know it, a ginger cat is walking rather sinisterly towards us. Truly, it's not an exaggeration. We are ambushed by two cats. Another one walks over our feet. We jump up, but we still decide to hold our ground. I valiantly trying shooing the cat away in Shakespearan English. Obviously, that doesn't work. I stamp my foot, make a little movement, the feline devil turns its back and walks away. It looks back in an 'et tu brute' way, and I stamp my foot again. We try to get rid of the others too. After noticing that their leader has possibly admitted defeat, they go into hiding.
Not for long.
Cats sense that you might be close to finishing your food. And again, the leader of the criminal gang jumps on the table. And at this point, all the shooing in the world doesn't seem to get rid of it. Yes I've even pretended to throw things at it, the creepy little animal isn't even frightened.
Noticing that their leader has a good foothold, the other two cats patrol around the table. We, the unfortunate humans finally admit defeat.
It so happened, that just as I was about to take my last bite of butter chicken, the ginger cat pounced on it and ate it. I think it was just short of saying 'MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!'
So anyway. I look back, and I see the cat eating it's happy meal of leftovers after successfully getting rid of hungry humans.
I sigh to myself, while my friends look depreciatingly at me as if to say, 'Please explain your love of cats?"
I'm afraid, after being in LSR, I really can't.
While we are on the subject of cats, THIS is my dream cat.

Words

Yes, this blog entry is filled with the word words :P
Actions speak louder than words, apparently.
Not that I don't agree with that statement. I agree with that statement, wholeheartedly. It's perfectly true.
But sometimes, words speak louder. Words have the ability to crush you completely, as well as lift you out of morbid thoughts.
It's funny how sometimes when words are uttered, they have a drastic impact on you. The nice ones, as well as the terribly hurtful ones. You can hold the loving words close to your heart, and keep it with you forever...as they are the reason for your living. What about the harsh words? Can they be forgotten? What if they leave a wound so deep, which even time can't seem to heal? You can pretend all you want that these words don't matter...but in the end you know it does. Time sometimes can't heal wounds. It can just leave a scab there. When words are flung all around you, you sometimes feel too powerless to find your words. For that moment...you are wordless. And then you think back later, and realize all the words you could have thrown back. It's too late, anyway.
Why are words so scarring sometimes? Why are they repeated in your head every day, making you relive moments you never want to relive? Can words be the thriving distance between people?
Sometimes words kill you. Even if they are the truth. But that's when you have to fight back and show the world your words. Silence may not be the best virtue, some times.
And time heals what you want to heal.
And yet there's a reverse effect. There are those precious beautiful words that you hold closely and safely to you. It's best to enjoy those moments, instead of the negative ones.
Life goes on, you see :)

Movie spurts!

So I think I've had a very interesting week...movie-wise. For the last seven days, I seem to have watched all sorts of films. Lets ignore the fact that half these films should have been seen long ago :P I think I'm more of the television soap person, and not toooo much of a film person. Though I love watching them anyway.
So- I saw 21, Tangled, Megamind, Pirates of the Caribbean (yes, I know its about time!), how to train your dragon, and Scott Pilgrim vs the world. It's an insane assortment, I dont deny. :D And...maybe most are animated. :P
21- This film intrigued me. It was done really well, and well thought out. My respect for the actor Jim Sturgess (I think it's the right spelling) whooshed back, as I distinctly remember being scarred by him in the film 'The Other Boleyn Girl,. Though this film I watched with greater concentration, as I found the little intricacies of black-jack dealings rather perplexing. I think after I saw the film, I rushed back home and downloaded it just to watch it again to see if I missed anything. The film had a special place in my heart for many reasons.
TANGLED- I had downloaded this film, a long time ago, but never had gotten down to see it. I finally saw it, and I enjoyed it so much that I watched it four times over the next few days. Sometimes animated guys do so much more to you, than Hollywood actors! And I think this is the best version of Rapunzel, I've seen till date. I hate to say it, but this film did make me feel very warm and fuzzy inside. :D
Megamind!- The only animated villain I could ever fall in love with. What added to his charisma was the 'highway to hell' from ACDC playing, every time he made an entrance. I wouldnt mind having a villain like that in my city!
PIRATES- Yes, every time someone would ask me, 'Have you seen pirates of the caribbean?' I would shake my head and say 'no!'. I finally saw the film, and realized what all the fuss was about. Johnny Depp for one, and his hilarious one-liners. That's another film I watched twice! And I think there's something highly thrilling about pirates. :P
How to train your dragon- DRAGON LOVE!!!!!! I was actually offended with the beginning of the film when they were killing dragons. After reading Harry Potter avidly...somehow I've always loved dragons. Hence the reason why I was so happy when Hiccup (the main character) befriended the dragon. I wouldnt mind keeping a dragon as a pet :D
Scott Pilgrim- WOW. This film was the strangest, and the most bizarre film I've seen in a while. It was crazy, and weird. and that's the reason why I loved it so. Come on, where else do you find a person trying to defeat a league of evil seven ex boyfriends? :D
This was my strange movie assortment for the week. Needless to say, I'm besotted with these films, and I can actually watch them more than three times. Next on my list, is to watch Top Gun :D

Storms

The landscape is green and serene.
The wind whistles slightly.
The sun shines brightly...too brightly.
I walk to the shore.
I gingerly put my foot in the water.
it feels cool and pleasant.
The wind blows again.
my hair flies all over my face
and I smile to my self.
I put my other foot.
The waves wash over my feet.
it is cool.
it is the composure I had always wished for.
it is that beautiful relaxed feeling I had always wanted.
I close my eyes.
I then stumble over a stone.
My eyes spring open.
the world has changed.
the waves are in a turmoil
a terrible storm blows.
my feet lose balance.
there is nothing to hold on to.
the clouds rage in stormy fury
and the waves rise high.
the wind howls around me.
I close my ears and bend down.
wishing for it to return to peace.
It doesn't.
I stand at last.
let the waves come.
let the storm try to unsteady me.
Ill hold on.