I know my poems are slightttttly repetitive. ill change that soon. ill try to write happy poems.
am NOT a cynic.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Coward, rebel and passive
so lets see whether i can write a song. lets see, right?? if it doesnt work, well...we'll stick to poetry.
they look, they ask, they question
they say, they judge, they want
they change, they state, they hurt
and she cowers, she lies, she changes
she breaks, she manipulates, she murmurs...
nothing happens...nothing changes...
its all the same
its all the same
they dont change
they have changed her.
she's different, she fights, she reiterates
who is to say she is weak?
warring for interpretations
a sense of justice, she curses
those who hurt
in times of need
have sown the seed
anger, fury, hatred
anger fury, hatred.
a fire that can't be doused
a chant that wont extinguish
she is indifferent
she is passive
she cares not more, not less
waves could engulf her in a sweep
she'll be composed
crying, heartbreaks, a broken mother
would not stir her
its her world, its her right
she'll look beyond it all
she won't care.
they don't affect her.
they look, they ask, they question
they say, they judge, they want
they change, they state, they hurt
and she cowers, she lies, she changes
she breaks, she manipulates, she murmurs...
nothing happens...nothing changes...
its all the same
its all the same
they dont change
they have changed her.
she's different, she fights, she reiterates
who is to say she is weak?
warring for interpretations
a sense of justice, she curses
those who hurt
in times of need
have sown the seed
anger, fury, hatred
anger fury, hatred.
a fire that can't be doused
a chant that wont extinguish
she is indifferent
she is passive
she cares not more, not less
waves could engulf her in a sweep
she'll be composed
crying, heartbreaks, a broken mother
would not stir her
its her world, its her right
she'll look beyond it all
she won't care.
they don't affect her.
Roads, people, and strange men.
So the first day of college was a complete waste. No teacher turned up, and Anan and I were wondering what on earth we should do. Anandi had to wait till 3 for her car pool, and I could wait the entire day considering the fact I live within spitting distance.
The idea of momos popped into our hungry heads, and we thought no further. Momos-one delicious item without which life was flat. Especially, from our haunt-Cafe Brown Sugar.
We hopped off spiritedly from college. Anan whispered to me rather hastily to hail an auto, as apparently she could never hail autos. To say the least, I was confused by the statement. All you have to do is stick your hand out and an auto will zoom in front of you. So I lived up to my worthy reputation of hailing an auto...and the typical arguement of getting the price down from 30 to Rs. 25. Finally the auto driver gave up, maybe because he really needed the money, or he realized that he couldn't fight more with two young college students who were pretending to be agressive.
On that un-sunny day, we strolled through a rather empty M block market. I had never seen M block empty before, and this was as surprising as snow in Delhi. Anan had to look for warm-wear, as she going to Harvard for her MUN. So we raided each shop, and inspected all the clothes. The ones which were warm and were practically good, had a stain on them, the others...were just plain hideous. It is interesting to observe the bright colours. It's as if well the creators had no sense of colour or organization and threw them all together.
I think we walked around the market twice, or thrice. An extremely loud-voiced woman banged into us, and even we were twenty feet away from her, her voice seemed to be ringing in our ears. One woman who was wiping the floor glared at me, as I stepped on what she had just cleaned up. I'm sure she must have cursed me.
Next, we decided to go to N block market. Well, I had a vague idea of the directions. So with a hazy map in my head, we took an entire round around M block, coming back to where we started. If Anandi could, she would have nailed my head to the clothes shop.
It was intriguing. I saw roads I had never seen before, and which I had never known existed. And then! The climax of our excursions.
While we were walking, we heard some pattering footsteps behind us. And before we could look behind, a man walked in front of us and said,
"Hiie...you know where the girls beauty parlour is? I have to put lipishtick and all..."
I kept a straight face and said very confidently a bunch of nonsensical syllables...I think I said something along the lines of, "yes, Kailash colony...N block...sorry I mean Kailash colony madonna!"
Anandi on the other hand avoided looking and said "haan haan...straight, straight.."
"Mujhe apne boyfriend se milna hai...is liye..." and he rattled off into explanations. We nodded, smiled and looked as if we were having the most insightful conversation.
He then cheerily skipped off.
For the next twenty minutes, Anan and I couldn't stop laughing.
The idea of momos popped into our hungry heads, and we thought no further. Momos-one delicious item without which life was flat. Especially, from our haunt-Cafe Brown Sugar.
We hopped off spiritedly from college. Anan whispered to me rather hastily to hail an auto, as apparently she could never hail autos. To say the least, I was confused by the statement. All you have to do is stick your hand out and an auto will zoom in front of you. So I lived up to my worthy reputation of hailing an auto...and the typical arguement of getting the price down from 30 to Rs. 25. Finally the auto driver gave up, maybe because he really needed the money, or he realized that he couldn't fight more with two young college students who were pretending to be agressive.
On that un-sunny day, we strolled through a rather empty M block market. I had never seen M block empty before, and this was as surprising as snow in Delhi. Anan had to look for warm-wear, as she going to Harvard for her MUN. So we raided each shop, and inspected all the clothes. The ones which were warm and were practically good, had a stain on them, the others...were just plain hideous. It is interesting to observe the bright colours. It's as if well the creators had no sense of colour or organization and threw them all together.
I think we walked around the market twice, or thrice. An extremely loud-voiced woman banged into us, and even we were twenty feet away from her, her voice seemed to be ringing in our ears. One woman who was wiping the floor glared at me, as I stepped on what she had just cleaned up. I'm sure she must have cursed me.
Next, we decided to go to N block market. Well, I had a vague idea of the directions. So with a hazy map in my head, we took an entire round around M block, coming back to where we started. If Anandi could, she would have nailed my head to the clothes shop.
It was intriguing. I saw roads I had never seen before, and which I had never known existed. And then! The climax of our excursions.
While we were walking, we heard some pattering footsteps behind us. And before we could look behind, a man walked in front of us and said,
"Hiie...you know where the girls beauty parlour is? I have to put lipishtick and all..."
I kept a straight face and said very confidently a bunch of nonsensical syllables...I think I said something along the lines of, "yes, Kailash colony...N block...sorry I mean Kailash colony madonna!"
Anandi on the other hand avoided looking and said "haan haan...straight, straight.."
"Mujhe apne boyfriend se milna hai...is liye..." and he rattled off into explanations. We nodded, smiled and looked as if we were having the most insightful conversation.
He then cheerily skipped off.
For the next twenty minutes, Anan and I couldn't stop laughing.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Just what it isnt
everyone has their own demand
everyone screams their demands
you're too quiet, you talk too much
you dont eat, you eat too much
you dont care, you care too much
lets believe what we see,
lets not believe what is true
sit down be quiet
who are you?
what is your value
what is your identity?
what do you want?
what are your thoughts?
oh, we dont care.
lets not care what hurts you
lets not care what makes you bleed
as if we care when you cry
as if we care when you laugh
as if we care about you, at all.
scream as much as you want
for your accursed soul.
it wont silence us.
everyone screams their demands
you're too quiet, you talk too much
you dont eat, you eat too much
you dont care, you care too much
lets believe what we see,
lets not believe what is true
sit down be quiet
who are you?
what is your value
what is your identity?
what do you want?
what are your thoughts?
oh, we dont care.
lets not care what hurts you
lets not care what makes you bleed
as if we care when you cry
as if we care when you laugh
as if we care about you, at all.
scream as much as you want
for your accursed soul.
it wont silence us.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Memorable conversations...till date!
Me: your father is a chartered accountant.
Soumya: I think so...too.
Soumya: I'm going to sinagpore.
Me: by plane?
Shine: oh I love the movie UP!
Me: I haven't seen it, but you should see Bolt!
Shine:Yeah I know! That's also about dogs right?
(next time)
Shine: oh you must see the movie UP!
Me: I haven't seen it, but you should see Bolt!
Shine: I know! The dog-thing...
(next!)
Shine: Oh you must see the movie UP!
Me: I know! But you should see Bolt!
Shine: Yeah i will!
(after six times)
Shine: Do you realize we have had this conversation a million times?
Abhi: You know how I like sitting by myself and thinking right?
Me: yeah...
Abhi: So I was just sitting by myself the other day...and thinking about the world...wouldn't it just collapse if I didn't exist?
Soumya and I: Law of bluenose: a bluenose remains blue till something smashes into it.
Anandi; Maybe you are bicurious.
me (rather intrigued): whats bicurious?
Anandi: my friend once told me that bicurious is when you're not going to have sexual relations with another person, you are just curious about their sexuality. what the hell am I talking about?
karan (to me): so you live alone?
akanksha: no, she lives with two parents, nine puppies and a dog named phoebe!
me (in a sad message to Shine) : hey :(
shine: yeah whats up!
me: i miss you...
shine: right backatcha buddy!
me (to soumya): I'm writing a trilogy of four books.
soumya: yeah...right...
me: soumya, i miss you so much! come back soon, i really really miss you.
soumya: yeah...so anyway!
me: he's so caring...so sensitive...and he carries a scent in a bottle.
Soumya: I think so...too.
Soumya: I'm going to sinagpore.
Me: by plane?
Shine: oh I love the movie UP!
Me: I haven't seen it, but you should see Bolt!
Shine:Yeah I know! That's also about dogs right?
(next time)
Shine: oh you must see the movie UP!
Me: I haven't seen it, but you should see Bolt!
Shine: I know! The dog-thing...
(next!)
Shine: Oh you must see the movie UP!
Me: I know! But you should see Bolt!
Shine: Yeah i will!
(after six times)
Shine: Do you realize we have had this conversation a million times?
Abhi: You know how I like sitting by myself and thinking right?
Me: yeah...
Abhi: So I was just sitting by myself the other day...and thinking about the world...wouldn't it just collapse if I didn't exist?
Soumya and I: Law of bluenose: a bluenose remains blue till something smashes into it.
Anandi; Maybe you are bicurious.
me (rather intrigued): whats bicurious?
Anandi: my friend once told me that bicurious is when you're not going to have sexual relations with another person, you are just curious about their sexuality. what the hell am I talking about?
karan (to me): so you live alone?
akanksha: no, she lives with two parents, nine puppies and a dog named phoebe!
me (in a sad message to Shine) : hey :(
shine: yeah whats up!
me: i miss you...
shine: right backatcha buddy!
me (to soumya): I'm writing a trilogy of four books.
soumya: yeah...right...
me: soumya, i miss you so much! come back soon, i really really miss you.
soumya: yeah...so anyway!
me: he's so caring...so sensitive...and he carries a scent in a bottle.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Virtual interview with James Lafferty
Well I find that my blog is complete, if I dont explain who James Lafferty is. eeep!!!!!!!!
James Lafferty is...well the most good-looking celebrity I have ever seen, he has the most amazing charisma, he has a gorgeous voice...he is a brilliant actor...*swoon*.
So here is an imagined interview with my favourite celebrity of all time: (NOTE: THIS IS IF I GO CRAZY!)
(James Lafferty enters, and I show him a seat. I almost trip in the process)
Me: Have a seat. So today, I'm going to be interviewing the hottest sensation in town-James Lafferty!
(James smiles uncomfortably. Weird interviewer!)
Me: so James, tell me. How was acting in One Tree Hill changed your life?
James: It had been a wonderful experience, and I wish to continue working there-and
(I cut him off)
Me: so is it easy being the handsomest, nicest, best actor around?
(James looks longingly at the window. He wishes to jump out)
James ( grins embarassedly) I wouldn't know what to say....I think of myself as a decent actor...
Me (uncontrollably giggly): Modesty is one of your charms! You are my favourite actor!
(James smiles painfully)
James: That's nice...
Me (accusingly): Are the rumours about you and Sophia Bush true? Are you actually dating her?
( James grimaces)
James: No.
Me: Oh good! Because Chad Michael Murray said you were. And if you didn't know, she is Chad's ex-wife.
James: I am well aware of that. Considering I have worked with both for six years.
Me:Oh, you truly are a professional actor. I respect you, and I think you are the best.
James: Thank you...I better leave.
Me: No, no! I am not done yet. Are you on facebook? Can I add you?
James: I'm sorry, my profile cannot be viewed by strangers.
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That's so sad.
James: Bye-bye.
Me: Oh, If I didn't say so already, I think you are a wonderful actor! And the handsomest!
James: You did. Goodbye.
The imagined interview flopped. But assuming, I keep my cool, calm and composure-it shouldn't be such a disaster!
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. He is just too good to be true.
Murder on his mind
So after leaving Citywalk, I argued with the first auto I could find. I brought the price to a reasonable 45 rs, considering that was all I actually had. So the rollercoaster journey started.
Usually, in autos I sit in the middle of the seat and observe my surroundings. This time, the driver didn't let me. He zoomed off at such a speed that I fell to one side, clutching on for dear life. My surroundings were a blurry haze of grey, green and blue. And I could see my shawl flapping in the wind. Just as I tried to hold on to the shawl, the auto-driver as if posessed by a demon swooshed and went forcefully over the speed breaker on the road. I grabbed the flailing shawl, and wrapped myself tightly as I was afraid that I might fly out with the shawl.
He zig-zagged as if he was playing Need For Speed in a video game. I almost wanted to explain politely the difference between a video game and reality. In a video game, if your car is upside down, within 5 seconds you are put back on track. In reality, if your car is crashed to one side, well get your obituary ready.
Not to mention, it was an extremely cold day. My teeth were practically chattering as the cold wind seemed to have merciless joy in hitting me hard.
Then came the climax of the journey.
There was a wall ahead of us. As if some power was possessing him, he headed straight towards the wall. I wanted to scream, but my voice seemed to be on AWOL. Mentally, I said a bye-bye to my family, Shine, Abhi and Soumya.
And then!
He took a sharp turn which made me fall to the other side. I would have fallen out if I hadn't gripped the railing in time. The auto-driver turned around and gave me a smile. His two front-teeth were missing. I was close to making sure that all his teeth would be missing by the time I was done with the journey.
I stopped a hundred metres away from my house, partly from fear that he might crash into the gates. When I got off, I got my breath and sanity back and paid him 40 Rs. I sued him 5 Rs. from practically trying to kill me.
What a journey!
Usually, in autos I sit in the middle of the seat and observe my surroundings. This time, the driver didn't let me. He zoomed off at such a speed that I fell to one side, clutching on for dear life. My surroundings were a blurry haze of grey, green and blue. And I could see my shawl flapping in the wind. Just as I tried to hold on to the shawl, the auto-driver as if posessed by a demon swooshed and went forcefully over the speed breaker on the road. I grabbed the flailing shawl, and wrapped myself tightly as I was afraid that I might fly out with the shawl.
He zig-zagged as if he was playing Need For Speed in a video game. I almost wanted to explain politely the difference between a video game and reality. In a video game, if your car is upside down, within 5 seconds you are put back on track. In reality, if your car is crashed to one side, well get your obituary ready.
Not to mention, it was an extremely cold day. My teeth were practically chattering as the cold wind seemed to have merciless joy in hitting me hard.
Then came the climax of the journey.
There was a wall ahead of us. As if some power was possessing him, he headed straight towards the wall. I wanted to scream, but my voice seemed to be on AWOL. Mentally, I said a bye-bye to my family, Shine, Abhi and Soumya.
And then!
He took a sharp turn which made me fall to the other side. I would have fallen out if I hadn't gripped the railing in time. The auto-driver turned around and gave me a smile. His two front-teeth were missing. I was close to making sure that all his teeth would be missing by the time I was done with the journey.
I stopped a hundred metres away from my house, partly from fear that he might crash into the gates. When I got off, I got my breath and sanity back and paid him 40 Rs. I sued him 5 Rs. from practically trying to kill me.
What a journey!
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