Sunday, May 12, 2013

All this time.


Ed lay flat on his back on the grass, reliving the coffee disaster again in his head. He knew he was wrong, and now it was too late.
It could have been so different. The conversation would have ended on a better note, and she wouldn’t have left, so hurt and angry.
Ray came and sat next to him and said quietly,
“I’m guessing the coffee idea didn’t work?”
“I…I…was being…” Ed couldn’t complete the sentence.
“You were being you.” Ray said coolly.
“Yes.” Ed said subdued.
“You do realize, this fight has gone on for too long? When are you going to let go of your ego and apologize to her?”
The bitter remembrance flashed back.
“Me! Why should I apologize?” Ed said, trying to convince himself.
“Because she’s spent the last year and a half apologizing and trying to mend things?”
Ed closed his eyes.
The conversation with Liya could have been so different.
He would not have been late, for one. He would have been there before her, waiting with a smile. She would have come in, all soaked from the rain, and he would have laughed and teased her. She would have grimaced at him, and then he would have given her his jacket.
“You’re ruining my good jacket.” He would have said with a smirk.
“Oh god, Ed you’re unbelievable.” She would have said, and given him a punch on the shoulder. He then would have teased her about her short hair.
“I liked your long hair.”
“I never thought you even noticed.” She would say, with her eyes lighting up.
They would order coffee. Oh, no wait. They would have gone to the place which had Liya’s favourite hot chocolate. And she would have slyly put one spoon of sugar in his coffee, without him noticing. And maybe a slice of the blueberry pie.
“Liya!”
“I’m just eating a piece now, because I know I won’t get a piece later.”
He suppressed a smile. Seeing her again, had overwhelmed him. He realized how much he had missed her eccentricities, and more importantly her laugh.
“I’m sorry Liya.” He said, with a little break in his voice.
“I’m sorry, too…Ed.”
“Can we just start over?” He said nervously.
She nodded, and smiled.
“Have some coffee. It has ice cream on it.” He said and pushed the glass towards her.
She took it, and he tipped the glass so that her nose was covered with ice cream.
“I’ll kill you, Ed. I swear!” She spluttered.
“The best way to start over.” He laughed, and he took a tissue and wiped her nose.
And then they burst out laughing.
“I’ve missed you so much. You were the best friend, I’ve ever had, Liya.”
“Same, Ed.” She said, with a small smile and patted his hand.
They talked about tiny irrelevant things. But they didn’t care what they talked about. They spoke about colleges, and some strange books, which Liya had been reading. He told Liya about the new music he had been listening to. Then he gave her a keychain, which had her favourite football team’s insignia on it.
And then she would grab the blueberry muffin and finish it before he could get the last piece.
They walked out of the shop, and said bye.
“Everything’s fine now.” She said, before she walked off. She turned around and waved.
He was so trapped in that reverie of her wave, that he had forgotten everything else.
“Ed?”
Ray’s voice snapped the illusion.
He was sitting on the grass. And that’s not how the conversation had happened.
“Call her.” Ray said.
Ed nodded. He grabbed the phone, and dialed her number.
“Ed?” Her voice sounded shaky with surprise.
He wanted to say so many things. What should he say? How much he missed her? How sorry he was for everything?
It finally tumbled out in a rush.
“You look very pretty with short hair.”
There was a little laugh on the other end. She understood.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Let them try.

"Lila, come on! It's fun!"
Lila sat resolutely on the sand
"I don't want to." she said trying to smile.
The waves reached the shore, and lapped at her feet.
Katie sighed. Lila could be really impossible.
"Come on. You deserve to be having fun with us, instead of brooding by yourself over here."
"I don't feel like it, Katie. You go ahead." Lila answered quietly. Katie guessed what was on her mind. She saw the effort Lila was putting into the smile.
The other girls screamed in joy as the waves went over them. They hollered again for Katie and Lila to join them.
"I'll be there, in a minute!" called out Katie. She turned to Lila, who was lost in her reveries again.
She sat down next to Lila, and for a while there was a silence except for the crashing of the waves, and the faraway sounds of laughter.
"How long do you want to be like this?" Katie said, finally breaking the silence.
"You go have fun, please Katie. I don't want to ruin to your day. I'm just a little tired today, I suppose." said Lila manufacturing a smile.
"You were tired yesterday as well, which was you didn't come for May's birthday...you were tired day before and didn't come with us for the film. How long do you want to remain tired?" Katie said gently.
"I don't know...I just don't feel like doing anything anymore." Lila said swallowing hard.
The waves crashed against the shore and tickled the feet.
Katie stayed silent.
"I know that. Makes sense to lose sense of yourself after a bad phase."
"Katie please."
"I am not used to seeing you like this. Where is that optimism and strong faith you always held on to?"
Lila didn't say anything.
A breeze blew gently.
Just then a big wave came and drenched them both. Lila got up and sputtered, as there was salt water in her eyes. Katie couldn't help in doubling up in laughter.
Lila couldn't help it, she laughed too.
It felt so wonderful to laugh again. Had she forgotten to laugh? How could she, with such a wonderful friend beside her, who was spending every day trying to cheer her up in different ways? The best part was that there was no compulsion to laugh this time. There was so much joy in the little things. She wanted to tell Katie what her friendship meant to her. She looked around at Katie, and tried to speak. Then she realized she didn't have to. She knew her expression said it all.
There was that safe feeling of love and security again which had vanished in the gloom of the recent events. The world which had looked so dark and morbid before, suddenly seemed radiant and beautiful, like a rose slipping out of a sheath.
Lila walked towards the water, enjoying the cool water beneath her feet. She picked up a brightly coloured seashell and threw it to Katie, to catch. "That will complete the anklet you were making!" she said cheerily.
 The wind blew her hair on her face, and she didn't bother arranging it. She suddenly picked up speed and rushed in, almost tripping and falling.
"Katie! Join me!" She shouted back to Katie who was watching amused.
"You're a real baffling child, you know that right?" Katie said laughing. She ran in as well. She almost fell, and Lila held her hand so she wouldn't fall.
"I think the waves will knock us both down together." Lila said as she saw a big wave coming.
Katie smiled.
"Let the waves try. We'll be standing again, anyway."