Monday, April 4, 2011

The motorcyclist

So for the first half of the day, I walked around with two black eyes.
Now here's a story I imagined, which was much more extravagant than the truth. So here goes:
I woke up in the morning, and found that I had only five minutes to get ready. I rushed out of the house, stole the guard's cycle and cycled through Absurdville (sounds so much better than Zamrudhpur). I cycled as fast as I could, and I almost knocked into a motorcyclist. He threw his helmet at me, and I put up iron-like hand which deflected his aim.
He got angry, and chucked his motor bike to one side. I also threw my stolen bike to one side, and ran for my life.
I took out the chicken biryani from my bag and threw it at his face. What a waste of chicken biryani. I rushed behind the reliance shop, and he miraculously sped to a terrace and started throwing potatoes at me. I dodged the potatoes (matrix style) and with a brilliant reflex, and then decided to catch the potatoes in my hands.
Then I threw them down, as he had run out of groceries to throw.
It was time for the ultimate battle.
I picked up coconuts. Even in my imagination, I seem to have wrong reactions. I could never throw coconuts to that height.
He then took a rope which came flying out of nowhere and swung himself down, and demanded that I hand over my bag. I refused, as my bag had important rise of the modern west photocopies...and a register which had no notes, but beautiful doodles and cubes. Yet, it was my bag.
He demanded that I hand over Arvind Sinha's textbook 'Europe in Transition.' I couldn't.
Then he punched me in the eye. And then the other.
So I lost my temper.
Then I put kickboxing to good use.
I gave him a sucker punch in the face and broke a coconut on his head. Coconuts can actually knock a person out :P Then I put a victory flag on his scooter. Then for safety sake, I pepper-sprayed him.
But what to do now? I had two black eyes. I now looked like a racoon gone wrong. I gritted my teeth.

See, this is what happens when my imagination runs away with me. All that had happened was that I got up late, and didn't look in the mirror when putting Kohl in my eyes.
But I had fun imagining. :D

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