Dearest daughter.
YAYY you have to be 18 to read this. And trust me, when you turn 18, I'll be the first to force you to read this.
I am writing this out of inspiration... So here are some things I want YOU to know, and I will try to be as organized as possible. And as you would know, I'm terribly disorganized and scatterbrained. I hope I'm slightly better at expressing myself at the time...when you read this.
Well...I don't want you to be a hard cynic, neither do I want you to be an unrealistic optimist...like I was. Life isn't as terrible, and full of hardships as made out to be...but it isn't the garden of roses you should expect either.
Take each day as it comes, live each day to the fullest. From experience I can tell you, there will be people who will love you more than anything else...there will be people who won't...and there will be those who will be your friend, and just might drop you on the way as they would replace you with someone else. The last two should not make you bitter and resentful to every relationship that comes your way. I'm telling you...being bitter and angry will get you nowhere.
Though, don't take things lying down. If people hurt you or try to suppress you, fight back. Don't be a doormat...I did on many occasions. Don't do that. I repented dearly for it, and I don't want you to go through the same. And please don't apologize for things which are not your fault. I'm saying this from cold experience, where I've believed I'm at fault...and then I analyzed and understood much later.
Cherish your friendships. It takes a long time to get good, solid friends. And there are some such beautiful friendships which will be with you forever. The best friendships sometimes don't come into your life with pomp and blare. They reveal themselves in nicest ways. It takes time, true. But it's all worth it.
Have confidence, believe in yourself. Judge for yourself..who will be there for you, and who won't.
And please work hard at math. I was a disaster at it, and I would love to show off that my daughter is a topper at it.
Make the most of your talents, and I'm sure they will be in abundance.
You will never be alone, I promise you. I'll be there :)
And don't smoke. Once you start, you won't be able to stop. So you better not. It's terrible for your health.
And please learn the recipe of how to make chocolate brownies from your grandmother.
And I want you to read. Read, read, read. The world of books is wonderful. You can travel all over the world by sitting in just one place and reading a book. Please avoid Meg Cabots if you can.
Dream, and dream, and turn those dreams into reality. And if they do crash, don't be brokenhearted. The strongest person is the one to rise and dream again, and make the dream a living dream.
I know you will :-)
lots of love,
Me.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Fury
when fury blazes through your veins
the warm blood gushes through you
the idea of being cheated, and let down again
makes your fingers curl
what sort of madness is this?
to fall for the same traps yet again?
the craze of anger, the delusion of trust
the clear haze of hypocrisy
again.
again. and again.
a sprayed illusion of guilt
thrown back upon you?
its a fury daze.
you live through it.
you feel the fury pulsing through your veins.
and yet nothing can be done.
just burn and suffocate in it.
the fault of believing.
the fault of being gullible.
the fault of being prey.
it smears you.
and you let it smear you.
you let it.
again.
is the realization too late?
how long can the bitterness survive?
no, no.
harder done than said. let it go.
let go of things that never existed.
stop clinging to fistfuls of just plain air.
breathe.
the fury has to be extinguished.
revenge should not be taken.
for revenge hurts no one more than the one who tries to inflict it.
lessons not yet learnt?
is it not time?
has the world not tested you enough?
-wash out.
douse your fury.
even at the point of the reddest flames, your fury won't be noticed.
so pray, tarry. be cautioned.
yeaaah well I just wrote this in a fit of anger and temper :p please don't worry :D
the warm blood gushes through you
the idea of being cheated, and let down again
makes your fingers curl
what sort of madness is this?
to fall for the same traps yet again?
the craze of anger, the delusion of trust
the clear haze of hypocrisy
again.
again. and again.
a sprayed illusion of guilt
thrown back upon you?
its a fury daze.
you live through it.
you feel the fury pulsing through your veins.
and yet nothing can be done.
just burn and suffocate in it.
the fault of believing.
the fault of being gullible.
the fault of being prey.
it smears you.
and you let it smear you.
you let it.
again.
is the realization too late?
how long can the bitterness survive?
no, no.
harder done than said. let it go.
let go of things that never existed.
stop clinging to fistfuls of just plain air.
breathe.
the fury has to be extinguished.
revenge should not be taken.
for revenge hurts no one more than the one who tries to inflict it.
lessons not yet learnt?
is it not time?
has the world not tested you enough?
-wash out.
douse your fury.
even at the point of the reddest flames, your fury won't be noticed.
so pray, tarry. be cautioned.
yeaaah well I just wrote this in a fit of anger and temper :p please don't worry :D
Saturday, August 14, 2010
disclaimer
the previous story was written for my best friend for her bday =)
so this post is more or less a dedication to her.
so this post is more or less a dedication to her.
Friday, August 6, 2010
The brighter side of life
As the last month has been hectic, hot, humid-in short the worst month of 2010 in every respect, i decided to write somethings which makes me happy, so when I feel cranky and wonky and miserable, I'll remember this and be happy again :D
sunshine, chocolates, lindt, photo frames, cocoberry, Metro stations, paintings, disney, One Tree Hill, James Lafferty, BOOKS, blue, purple, green. yellow umbrellas, momos, long walks in backlawns, laughs, laughs and more laughs, mad over doughnuts, chocolate truffles, dilli hart, bangles, butter chicken, stories, family, rain, echo lodge, imaginary worlds, babies, football, Kaka, hindi serials, Ben Mckenzie, Creative Writing society, smiles, butterflies, dangling earrings, LSR, nescafe visits, brown sugar, winter concerts, auditions, Hakuna Matata, Lion king, waking up to messages and missed calls, random conversations, scribbling in classes, chuckles, chalk fights, water fights.
this is a part of it. :D and even when things are terrible, these keep me going. :)
sunshine, chocolates, lindt, photo frames, cocoberry, Metro stations, paintings, disney, One Tree Hill, James Lafferty, BOOKS, blue, purple, green. yellow umbrellas, momos, long walks in backlawns, laughs, laughs and more laughs, mad over doughnuts, chocolate truffles, dilli hart, bangles, butter chicken, stories, family, rain, echo lodge, imaginary worlds, babies, football, Kaka, hindi serials, Ben Mckenzie, Creative Writing society, smiles, butterflies, dangling earrings, LSR, nescafe visits, brown sugar, winter concerts, auditions, Hakuna Matata, Lion king, waking up to messages and missed calls, random conversations, scribbling in classes, chuckles, chalk fights, water fights.
this is a part of it. :D and even when things are terrible, these keep me going. :)
Friday, July 30, 2010
25 random things about me
1) I think my printer is possessed. it takes a sheet in, throws it out, takes another in, crumples it, finally prints the third one.
2) i love watching random soap operas be it english or hindi. they're my source of entertainment.
3) i'm a knowledge book for bollywood and K serials much to the annoyance of my friends ;)
4) every time i buy slippers they get eaten up by phoebe, and i end up going to college in bitten slippers. its become a trend now.
5) i'm terrible at discussing fashion.
6) one of the weirdest things about me is that I hate chinese. I've hated it since i was a child.
7) I love decorating my room with photos, and pictures of my favourite celebrities.
8) never take me to a zoo. i always have an urge of letting the animals free and taking the tiger home as a pet.
9) momos are a very, very, important part of my life.
10) i'm a HUGE fan of James Lafferty. I'm freakishly obsessed.
11) my fingernails grow very quickly. I don't know why.
12) i have a few golden-brown strands of hair which I am very proud of.
13) it doesn't take much to make me laugh. i like laughing and people who make me laugh.
14) till late I was confused about the reproduction of chickens.
15) I want a kangaroo for my birthday.
16) I still believe that i might walk into Narnia by accident.
17) I have three stuffed toys which I still keep on my bed. Poochum, Woofwoof and a teddybear which has no name.
18) one of my dream expeditions is to go to Antarctica and put up a flag.
19) I think everyone is good at heart.
20) I think Pandas are fascinating animals.
21) I love the thrill of horror movies at night.
22) I die laughing everytime i watch the Twilight series.
23) when I was five, I had an imaginary friend called Archana. She moved away to China and became a rabbit.
24) I treasure the few close friends I have. And no matter what, they'll always have a very special place in my life which no one else can take.
25) when I was six, I wanted to be Santa's elf.
2) i love watching random soap operas be it english or hindi. they're my source of entertainment.
3) i'm a knowledge book for bollywood and K serials much to the annoyance of my friends ;)
4) every time i buy slippers they get eaten up by phoebe, and i end up going to college in bitten slippers. its become a trend now.
5) i'm terrible at discussing fashion.
6) one of the weirdest things about me is that I hate chinese. I've hated it since i was a child.
7) I love decorating my room with photos, and pictures of my favourite celebrities.
8) never take me to a zoo. i always have an urge of letting the animals free and taking the tiger home as a pet.
9) momos are a very, very, important part of my life.
10) i'm a HUGE fan of James Lafferty. I'm freakishly obsessed.
11) my fingernails grow very quickly. I don't know why.
12) i have a few golden-brown strands of hair which I am very proud of.
13) it doesn't take much to make me laugh. i like laughing and people who make me laugh.
14) till late I was confused about the reproduction of chickens.
15) I want a kangaroo for my birthday.
16) I still believe that i might walk into Narnia by accident.
17) I have three stuffed toys which I still keep on my bed. Poochum, Woofwoof and a teddybear which has no name.
18) one of my dream expeditions is to go to Antarctica and put up a flag.
19) I think everyone is good at heart.
20) I think Pandas are fascinating animals.
21) I love the thrill of horror movies at night.
22) I die laughing everytime i watch the Twilight series.
23) when I was five, I had an imaginary friend called Archana. She moved away to China and became a rabbit.
24) I treasure the few close friends I have. And no matter what, they'll always have a very special place in my life which no one else can take.
25) when I was six, I wanted to be Santa's elf.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wintry Concert
“Listen, listen listen listen listen listen! Let’s audition for the Winter Concert!” Devika said, practically screaming.
I had been too busy counting the number of listens. At the same time, I had been wondering what to buy for Ranjana’s birthday.
“What?” I asked perplexed
“Dude, there are posters all over the college! Lets audition for this! You and Ranjana audition for acting, I’ll try the singing!”
As much as I liked the idea, I got cold feet. I had suffered enough traumatic experiences regarding acting in street play, and now I felt like a nervous wreck when it came to acting. But still I decided I could try for it.
Well the Winter Concert…. proved to be quite something.
I was too lazy to learn something by heart and act it out. So, me being the lazy child I was, recited something I had recited a million times before. I remember the WMS’s president maintaining an absolutely blank expression. I tried to fathom her deadpan expressions, but no avail.
I lent Ranjana ‘A series of unfortunate events’ book, which she promptly read out. Our nightingale Devika sang Kal Ho na ho. (And after that, Devika was dragged off to sing for every concert in town :p )
So the three of us cracked the auditions. And then I realized that it was mostly singing, and that there was hardly any acting. So I decided to participate in the singing, as I liked the songs.
Now, it’s kind of obvious that some sort of chaos will occur when Devika and I are together. And we had to a sing neither-high-neither-low- part of the song ‘they don’t really care about us.’.
We had to sing in one high monotone.
So we started practice with great flourish. Now I couldn’t get the correct parts of the monotone, and I kept going unnecessarily low “Oooooooooooooooooooo” and Devika would unfortunately get carried off in that direction. Twice, thrice, our little group of neither-high-neither-lows were told gently that somewhere we were going off.
I tried mastering it. Till I mastered it, Devika decided to stick her fingers in her ears to try to get the tune right. It worked for her, but I was still in a low “oooooooooo”. I got it just about right a few days before the concert.
Our next hurdle was RESPECT. Now this song has the ability to make people (me, mostly) to forget the rest of the song.
There was a certain part of the song called “Suck it to me” which the four of us had to sing. And we had to sing this fast. I got into a delirium when singing this part, and I didn’t stop.
“Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me
Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me….”
“Lakshanaa…shhhhh.” Devika tried whispering.
When I finally stopped, I saw the WMS president looking at me with an astonished expression on her face.
“Only a few times. You don’t have to get into a fever.”
I wished that I was a fly on the wall.
And then our Ancient India teacher told us that she would give us an assignment. We pleaded, and told her to please let us give it along with the lucky MUNers, Tanya, Diva and Anandi. Didn’t work.
The unfortunate part was that this test was on the day of the Winter Concert.
At the same time, Devika and I were planning Ranjana’s birthday. See, this is what happens when everything coincides!
Our WMS president then gave an enlightening speech.
“All of you have practiced really well. Just get your costumes tomorrow, in case we have the concert. Most likely we might not have it tomorrow, we might have it on Monday.”
I almost dropped my bag. She had announced it so casually!
“So…we have to study for the test tomorrow…before that we need to get Ranjana’s gift ready…” Devika was trying to say calmly but I could see a massive Devika panic attack coming along.
“Let’s see, let’s see.”
So we grabbed the first unwilling cycle rickshaw to the market, bought a present, and wrapped it. We hurried back to our houses. I made Ranjana’s card. As I tried to print out pictures, I found that my printer had crashed. So I had to make do with my existing black and white ones. The purple card was ready.
Next, I had to get to study. Which of course I didn’t.
So next morning, I was bleary eyed and ‘wonky’ in Anandi’s words. And then, luck seemed to pour.
The test was an open-book one.
The Concert WAS taking place.
After writing the test, we moved swiftly to the auditorium. Apparently some drama had taken place there, as our WMS president had burst out crying.
I got into my costume, which involved a pair of hideously-coloured pajamas. I remember bitterly wishing to take them home and get it ripped by Phoebe.
For us, the Winter Concert was a lot of fun. Generally…it was a disaster. We messed up half the songs.
But I still loved it all the same. ^_^
I had been too busy counting the number of listens. At the same time, I had been wondering what to buy for Ranjana’s birthday.
“What?” I asked perplexed
“Dude, there are posters all over the college! Lets audition for this! You and Ranjana audition for acting, I’ll try the singing!”
As much as I liked the idea, I got cold feet. I had suffered enough traumatic experiences regarding acting in street play, and now I felt like a nervous wreck when it came to acting. But still I decided I could try for it.
Well the Winter Concert…. proved to be quite something.
I was too lazy to learn something by heart and act it out. So, me being the lazy child I was, recited something I had recited a million times before. I remember the WMS’s president maintaining an absolutely blank expression. I tried to fathom her deadpan expressions, but no avail.
I lent Ranjana ‘A series of unfortunate events’ book, which she promptly read out. Our nightingale Devika sang Kal Ho na ho. (And after that, Devika was dragged off to sing for every concert in town :p )
So the three of us cracked the auditions. And then I realized that it was mostly singing, and that there was hardly any acting. So I decided to participate in the singing, as I liked the songs.
Now, it’s kind of obvious that some sort of chaos will occur when Devika and I are together. And we had to a sing neither-high-neither-low- part of the song ‘they don’t really care about us.’.
We had to sing in one high monotone.
So we started practice with great flourish. Now I couldn’t get the correct parts of the monotone, and I kept going unnecessarily low “Oooooooooooooooooooo” and Devika would unfortunately get carried off in that direction. Twice, thrice, our little group of neither-high-neither-lows were told gently that somewhere we were going off.
I tried mastering it. Till I mastered it, Devika decided to stick her fingers in her ears to try to get the tune right. It worked for her, but I was still in a low “oooooooooo”. I got it just about right a few days before the concert.
Our next hurdle was RESPECT. Now this song has the ability to make people (me, mostly) to forget the rest of the song.
There was a certain part of the song called “Suck it to me” which the four of us had to sing. And we had to sing this fast. I got into a delirium when singing this part, and I didn’t stop.
“Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me
Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me Suck it to me….”
“Lakshanaa…shhhhh.” Devika tried whispering.
When I finally stopped, I saw the WMS president looking at me with an astonished expression on her face.
“Only a few times. You don’t have to get into a fever.”
I wished that I was a fly on the wall.
And then our Ancient India teacher told us that she would give us an assignment. We pleaded, and told her to please let us give it along with the lucky MUNers, Tanya, Diva and Anandi. Didn’t work.
The unfortunate part was that this test was on the day of the Winter Concert.
At the same time, Devika and I were planning Ranjana’s birthday. See, this is what happens when everything coincides!
Our WMS president then gave an enlightening speech.
“All of you have practiced really well. Just get your costumes tomorrow, in case we have the concert. Most likely we might not have it tomorrow, we might have it on Monday.”
I almost dropped my bag. She had announced it so casually!
“So…we have to study for the test tomorrow…before that we need to get Ranjana’s gift ready…” Devika was trying to say calmly but I could see a massive Devika panic attack coming along.
“Let’s see, let’s see.”
So we grabbed the first unwilling cycle rickshaw to the market, bought a present, and wrapped it. We hurried back to our houses. I made Ranjana’s card. As I tried to print out pictures, I found that my printer had crashed. So I had to make do with my existing black and white ones. The purple card was ready.
Next, I had to get to study. Which of course I didn’t.
So next morning, I was bleary eyed and ‘wonky’ in Anandi’s words. And then, luck seemed to pour.
The test was an open-book one.
The Concert WAS taking place.
After writing the test, we moved swiftly to the auditorium. Apparently some drama had taken place there, as our WMS president had burst out crying.
I got into my costume, which involved a pair of hideously-coloured pajamas. I remember bitterly wishing to take them home and get it ripped by Phoebe.
For us, the Winter Concert was a lot of fun. Generally…it was a disaster. We messed up half the songs.
But I still loved it all the same. ^_^
The Ballad of Nothing
Devika was sitting with the sex workers in Bombay. I was sitting at TOI relaxing. And this is what we came up with.
I believe can fly
i believe i can touch the sky
then we will eat fish fry
and never ever cry
because fish fry is too dry
change the rhyme scheme to furry
yes I will but only if you hurry
dont worry we will have chicken curry
I miss my little teddy named furry
but furry is sitting with Marie!
but Marie said she'd be going to the dairy?
Uh oh. then where is beary?
I think he flew away with a fairy!
But that fairy is hairy!
Oh no, that wasn't a fairy, that was a king of strawberry!
Oh i heard that he killed Mister Berry!
i always knew he was a sinister scary
not that scary, if he's dating a fairy
i've heard them jive to the tunes of Katy perry
they kissed a girl just to try it
that led the strawberry king into a fit
he screamed, he yelled, he turned green
the fairy sat quietly and ate sola beans
stop changing the rhyming scheme so often,
its very mean
oh baby, I'm your Jay sean
but Jay Sean watches porn
now im torn
dont worry, our love is twice born
oh sweetheart lets go eat popcorn
ooh yeah and together see the sunny morn
oh after that we are so marrying Ron
I want Ron. You take John?
Okay no, you and me lying on a big green lawn
we will sit there till early dawn
after all ron and john are just pawns
wow that indeed a pretty picture drawn
yes indeed the vision is nice
but dont forget, john is scared of mice!
oh that indeed is a pitiable vice.
oh we should just kill them nice.
killing is cold. mean and hard like ice.
fine lets call naomi, she is as blonde as a blonde born twice!
she'd even lose a game as simple as dice!
that's naomi. she will never win a trip to miami!
oh poor poor naomi
she is such a freak, she thought i was greek!
one must not talk to her if one's heart is meek
but sleazy guys always take a peek
we should box them near the beak?
then they will squeak squeak
they will have to run to take a leak
our poem is epic, we make cool jobless aesthetics
absolutely true, is there hope for me as a paramedic?
oh sure there is. i will be your sidekick!
duh! you will be my one and only pick!
thatt makes me soo happy, i could fall sick!
oh no no, give the sickness a tight flick!
this poem is a record forever
it shows our worthy endeavours
absolutely it does, with all the manic fervour!
i gave it a flick, and the fairy who flew by was too thick
ooh! that flick sounded slick!
the fairy was angry, the fairy was mad.
then she exploded into bits
and that was so sad.
I believe can fly
i believe i can touch the sky
then we will eat fish fry
and never ever cry
because fish fry is too dry
change the rhyme scheme to furry
yes I will but only if you hurry
dont worry we will have chicken curry
I miss my little teddy named furry
but furry is sitting with Marie!
but Marie said she'd be going to the dairy?
Uh oh. then where is beary?
I think he flew away with a fairy!
But that fairy is hairy!
Oh no, that wasn't a fairy, that was a king of strawberry!
Oh i heard that he killed Mister Berry!
i always knew he was a sinister scary
not that scary, if he's dating a fairy
i've heard them jive to the tunes of Katy perry
they kissed a girl just to try it
that led the strawberry king into a fit
he screamed, he yelled, he turned green
the fairy sat quietly and ate sola beans
stop changing the rhyming scheme so often,
its very mean
oh baby, I'm your Jay sean
but Jay Sean watches porn
now im torn
dont worry, our love is twice born
oh sweetheart lets go eat popcorn
ooh yeah and together see the sunny morn
oh after that we are so marrying Ron
I want Ron. You take John?
Okay no, you and me lying on a big green lawn
we will sit there till early dawn
after all ron and john are just pawns
wow that indeed a pretty picture drawn
yes indeed the vision is nice
but dont forget, john is scared of mice!
oh that indeed is a pitiable vice.
oh we should just kill them nice.
killing is cold. mean and hard like ice.
fine lets call naomi, she is as blonde as a blonde born twice!
she'd even lose a game as simple as dice!
that's naomi. she will never win a trip to miami!
oh poor poor naomi
she is such a freak, she thought i was greek!
one must not talk to her if one's heart is meek
but sleazy guys always take a peek
we should box them near the beak?
then they will squeak squeak
they will have to run to take a leak
our poem is epic, we make cool jobless aesthetics
absolutely true, is there hope for me as a paramedic?
oh sure there is. i will be your sidekick!
duh! you will be my one and only pick!
thatt makes me soo happy, i could fall sick!
oh no no, give the sickness a tight flick!
this poem is a record forever
it shows our worthy endeavours
absolutely it does, with all the manic fervour!
i gave it a flick, and the fairy who flew by was too thick
ooh! that flick sounded slick!
the fairy was angry, the fairy was mad.
then she exploded into bits
and that was so sad.
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