Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Pale confusion
you leave me confused.
a pale confusion sets upon me.
i feel baffled
by your dual personality
either i'm your special loved one
or either i'm the preferred ignored
you draw me close
just to push me further away
you remain a dark mystery
yet i feel as if I understand you
i set about to understand why you say and do the things you do
why is there this misty aura around you?
why is nothing clear and simple?
layers, and layers
twisted and shaken apart
truth from lies
yet no lies.
why can't I push you away?
as easily as you can?
why is this friendship fraught
with bewilderment?
you leave me thinking unclear thoughts
you leave me in a blurred haze
is this friendship a blessing or a strain?
in time i feel soothed by it
rest I feel peevish
tension it is
covered by a false transparency of sweetness
I still picture you as I always did.
at times i feel it's all slipping through my fingers
you turn and alter my perception within minutes
yet just to bring it back to the same point...again within minutes.
I can't understand
perhaps I shall never.
you leave me at sea.
a pale confusion sets upon me.
i feel baffled
by your dual personality
either i'm your special loved one
or either i'm the preferred ignored
you draw me close
just to push me further away
you remain a dark mystery
yet i feel as if I understand you
i set about to understand why you say and do the things you do
why is there this misty aura around you?
why is nothing clear and simple?
layers, and layers
twisted and shaken apart
truth from lies
yet no lies.
why can't I push you away?
as easily as you can?
why is this friendship fraught
with bewilderment?
you leave me thinking unclear thoughts
you leave me in a blurred haze
is this friendship a blessing or a strain?
in time i feel soothed by it
rest I feel peevish
tension it is
covered by a false transparency of sweetness
I still picture you as I always did.
at times i feel it's all slipping through my fingers
you turn and alter my perception within minutes
yet just to bring it back to the same point...again within minutes.
I can't understand
perhaps I shall never.
you leave me at sea.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Forsaken
The leaves are rustling
the wind has driven them away.
Don't you enjoy this weather, James?
It is beautiful, yes indeed Ella.
I feel lost and cold in this darkness, James.
Not to worry, Ella.
but James- the monsters of my nightmares have come at last.
Scare them away, like you always used to.
I see them- they are far more fearsome
they're taking over.
James, why don't you say something?
what can I say, Ella?
Maybe you can tell me
your thoughts
your ideas
your feelings
are we friends at all, James?
Yes, we are, Ella.
Then why this silence?
why this painful effort to speak?
why this monosyllabic tension?
I don't know, Ella.
Our friendship is forbidden.
I don't want to lose our friendship, James.
It came like a brilliant light
in my hour of forsakeneness.
and now it's something I hold on dearly to.
I cherish.
I am not meant to be here with you.
lets not talk, Ella.
Why, James?
Why are you friends at all with me?
Why did you make me feel special in the first place?
if our friendship is forbidden?
you can't leave me here, now!
Fate has twisted Destiny, Ella.
friendship is a pale word.
It will wring hearts
and ruin relationships
it will burn out the ashes
I don't know why i thought otherwise!
and again the shaky world shall be deconstructed.
Then why did you come into my life?
What was your purpose?
Had I believed wrong notions of friendship?
false promises, false hopes? Just to be taken away?
I wish I could despise you, James.
I wish we weren't friends.
i wish you had left me in that state you had found me in.
i wish you had never come into my life.
you made me hope, believe...again.
and you take it back.
I wish I had never met you, James.
You don't wish it more than I do, Ella.
the wind has driven them away.
Don't you enjoy this weather, James?
It is beautiful, yes indeed Ella.
I feel lost and cold in this darkness, James.
Not to worry, Ella.
but James- the monsters of my nightmares have come at last.
Scare them away, like you always used to.
I see them- they are far more fearsome
they're taking over.
James, why don't you say something?
what can I say, Ella?
Maybe you can tell me
your thoughts
your ideas
your feelings
are we friends at all, James?
Yes, we are, Ella.
Then why this silence?
why this painful effort to speak?
why this monosyllabic tension?
I don't know, Ella.
Our friendship is forbidden.
I don't want to lose our friendship, James.
It came like a brilliant light
in my hour of forsakeneness.
and now it's something I hold on dearly to.
I cherish.
I am not meant to be here with you.
lets not talk, Ella.
Why, James?
Why are you friends at all with me?
Why did you make me feel special in the first place?
if our friendship is forbidden?
you can't leave me here, now!
Fate has twisted Destiny, Ella.
friendship is a pale word.
It will wring hearts
and ruin relationships
it will burn out the ashes
I don't know why i thought otherwise!
and again the shaky world shall be deconstructed.
Then why did you come into my life?
What was your purpose?
Had I believed wrong notions of friendship?
false promises, false hopes? Just to be taken away?
I wish I could despise you, James.
I wish we weren't friends.
i wish you had left me in that state you had found me in.
i wish you had never come into my life.
you made me hope, believe...again.
and you take it back.
I wish I had never met you, James.
You don't wish it more than I do, Ella.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Photo Frame
a dusty tired day
while clearing out her cupboard
with a wrench of heart
she saw.
a pink photo frame.
a photo with her and her best friend.
it stung it smarted
the resounding question of pray why?
under the frame
was a stack of drawings.
and that was all that was left
of a confused friendship.
she had stowed it away
she had pushed it away
but memories aren't hidden at leisure
especially painful ones.
it was all just paper
she tried convincing.
yet flashes of a life
which she had held so dearly
so close
and without warning had to let go.
five years was not the matter
the mere abruptness of departure was
a cool declaration
of the end of it all.
she looks at the frame again.
she sees how different it all was.
how different the friend had been.
and all was over now.
she made worthy to forget
the times they had cried and laughed together
the time they had shared.
the close sisterly bond.
it was all over.
there was only a stack of paper left.
best friend.
it wasn't a label. it was a promise.
a promise which was broken
without much ado.
well life couldn't stop.
people come and people go.
but she had believed she would stay.
she tells herself sternly.
she will forget.
she doesn't care.
but her heart whispers.
you won't.
and you do.
while clearing out her cupboard
with a wrench of heart
she saw.
a pink photo frame.
a photo with her and her best friend.
it stung it smarted
the resounding question of pray why?
under the frame
was a stack of drawings.
and that was all that was left
of a confused friendship.
she had stowed it away
she had pushed it away
but memories aren't hidden at leisure
especially painful ones.
it was all just paper
she tried convincing.
yet flashes of a life
which she had held so dearly
so close
and without warning had to let go.
five years was not the matter
the mere abruptness of departure was
a cool declaration
of the end of it all.
she looks at the frame again.
she sees how different it all was.
how different the friend had been.
and all was over now.
she made worthy to forget
the times they had cried and laughed together
the time they had shared.
the close sisterly bond.
it was all over.
there was only a stack of paper left.
best friend.
it wasn't a label. it was a promise.
a promise which was broken
without much ado.
well life couldn't stop.
people come and people go.
but she had believed she would stay.
she tells herself sternly.
she will forget.
she doesn't care.
but her heart whispers.
you won't.
and you do.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Jealousy
What's that strange emotion
which pulses through you
which clouds reasoning
and rational thought?
its jealousy.
whats that bizarre anger you have?
jealousy?
what is jealousy?
fear of replacement?
a twisted threat
to your existence?
its that white fury
which encircles you
and traps you within
it smirks at you
as you struggle
it laughs as you change
your torture is amusement
for its companions.
insecurity.
the thought of losing another
the pain of abandonment
it serves right in small doses.
it should not be given in large ones.
let that emotion go.
your loved one is yours, as well as others alone.
your prize is yours, if rightly earned.
wash away your insecurity.
let no evil deeds happen.
there.
it's gone.
which pulses through you
which clouds reasoning
and rational thought?
its jealousy.
whats that bizarre anger you have?
jealousy?
what is jealousy?
fear of replacement?
a twisted threat
to your existence?
its that white fury
which encircles you
and traps you within
it smirks at you
as you struggle
it laughs as you change
your torture is amusement
for its companions.
insecurity.
the thought of losing another
the pain of abandonment
it serves right in small doses.
it should not be given in large ones.
let that emotion go.
your loved one is yours, as well as others alone.
your prize is yours, if rightly earned.
wash away your insecurity.
let no evil deeds happen.
there.
it's gone.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Twitchy squirrel.
I love the squirrel's expression. It could either be saying "HEY YOU BACK OFF. This is my food!"
I love the way squirrels eat their food. They put it between their two paws and nibble at it. I even fed one today!
Not this one, though. This one suspected me of stealing its grain.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Like two halves.
Okay I thought I'll put down my favourit-est couples...the ones which make me feel so warm and happy inside. And trust me, I find very few TV/Book/ Film couples like that.
Ron & Hermione: From the first book I've liked them. They are one of the most realistic and beautiful couples I've EVER read about or seen. They have had terrible fights, and yet they made it through that. I think their most intriguing fights include the Yule Ball battle, the one after Ron dates Lavendar, and the one after Crookshanks is supposed to have eaten Scabbers. *sigh*
Some favourite quotes:
"Ron," said Hermione in a dignified voice, "you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet."
Hermione: I was going to ask you. But if you rather I got off with McLaggen...
Ron (very quietly): No, I wouldn't.
Hermione "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"
"What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."
Hermione frowned at Ron.
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
Here's another picture:
Shawn Juliet: Okay this couple's just realized their feelings for each other, and right they can't do anything about it. I have watched Psych from season 1 to 5, and I've noticed that in every episode that they have such subtle yet beautiful moments.
Some quotes:
Juliet O'Hara: I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.
Shawn Spencer: Ooh, then never ask your boyfriend if he thinks your sister's hot.
Juliet O'Hara: I don't have a sister.
Shawn Spencer: How about a boyfriend?
Juliet O'Hara: Where are you ?
Shawn Spencer: On the phone. Where are you?
SCARLETT O HARA AND RHETT BUTLER: One of the BEST and most wonderful couples I've EVER read about. Scarlett is soo utterly human, and Rhett is too good to be true. *sigh* such a tragic story :(
Scarlett: But you are a blockade runner.
Rhett: For profit, and profit only.
Scarlett: Are you tryin' to tell me you don't believe in the cause?
Rhett: I believe in Rhett Butler, he's the only cause I know. The rest doesn't mean much to me.
Scarlett: [After agreeing to marry Rhett] Money does help and of course I am fond of you...If I said I was madly in love with you, you'd know I was lying. You always said we had a lot in common...
Rhett: You're right, my dear. I'm not in love with you any more than you are with me. Heaven help the man who ever really loves you.
Scarlett: No! I only know that I love you.
Rhett: That's your misfortune.
Ross Rachel: One of the most turbulent, messed up and confused couples ever. Yet throughout the seasons, even after the breakup there's always a hint of them being together. Two completely different people, and both completely crazy too.
Rachel: (while kissing Ross) Monica?
Ross: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sisters name.
Ross : Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
Rachel: I got off the plane.
Ross: Look, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Rachel: (crying) No. I can’t, you’re a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can’t stop picturing with her, I can’t, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It’s just changed, everything. Forever.
Ross: Yeah, but this can’t be it, I mean
Rachel: Then how come it is?
(I actually cried during this scene)
Tariq and Laila: AAAAAAAAAH. Another perfect couple. A Thousand Splendid Suns is one of the best books I've ever read. Tariq Laila are too good to be true!
Tariq (holds a gun): I'll kill with it, for you Laila.
Ron & Hermione: From the first book I've liked them. They are one of the most realistic and beautiful couples I've EVER read about or seen. They have had terrible fights, and yet they made it through that. I think their most intriguing fights include the Yule Ball battle, the one after Ron dates Lavendar, and the one after Crookshanks is supposed to have eaten Scabbers. *sigh*
Some favourite quotes:
"Ron," said Hermione in a dignified voice, "you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet."
Hermione: I was going to ask you. But if you rather I got off with McLaggen...
Ron (very quietly): No, I wouldn't.
Hermione "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"
"What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."
Hermione frowned at Ron.
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
Here's another picture:
Shawn Juliet: Okay this couple's just realized their feelings for each other, and right they can't do anything about it. I have watched Psych from season 1 to 5, and I've noticed that in every episode that they have such subtle yet beautiful moments.
Some quotes:
Juliet O'Hara: I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.
Shawn Spencer: Ooh, then never ask your boyfriend if he thinks your sister's hot.
Juliet O'Hara: I don't have a sister.
Shawn Spencer: How about a boyfriend?
Juliet O'Hara: Where are you ?
Shawn Spencer: On the phone. Where are you?
SCARLETT O HARA AND RHETT BUTLER: One of the BEST and most wonderful couples I've EVER read about. Scarlett is soo utterly human, and Rhett is too good to be true. *sigh* such a tragic story :(
Scarlett: But you are a blockade runner.
Rhett: For profit, and profit only.
Scarlett: Are you tryin' to tell me you don't believe in the cause?
Rhett: I believe in Rhett Butler, he's the only cause I know. The rest doesn't mean much to me.
Scarlett: [After agreeing to marry Rhett] Money does help and of course I am fond of you...If I said I was madly in love with you, you'd know I was lying. You always said we had a lot in common...
Rhett: You're right, my dear. I'm not in love with you any more than you are with me. Heaven help the man who ever really loves you.
Scarlett: No! I only know that I love you.
Rhett: That's your misfortune.
Ross Rachel: One of the most turbulent, messed up and confused couples ever. Yet throughout the seasons, even after the breakup there's always a hint of them being together. Two completely different people, and both completely crazy too.
Rachel: (while kissing Ross) Monica?
Ross: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sisters name.
Ross : Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
Rachel: I got off the plane.
Ross: Look, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Rachel: (crying) No. I can’t, you’re a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can’t stop picturing with her, I can’t, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It’s just changed, everything. Forever.
Ross: Yeah, but this can’t be it, I mean
Rachel: Then how come it is?
(I actually cried during this scene)
Tariq and Laila: AAAAAAAAAH. Another perfect couple. A Thousand Splendid Suns is one of the best books I've ever read. Tariq Laila are too good to be true!
Tariq (holds a gun): I'll kill with it, for you Laila.
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