Friday, October 31, 2014

Insignificant

She wondered who her sister was talking to.
She could only see the back of his head. Her sister seemed rather engrossed in the conversation.
She leaned against the wall, tired. If only this evening could get over quickly. She really hadn't wanted to come out, but her sister had insisted.
She took a sip of her water, trying to catch her sister's eye. Her sister rolled her eyes, and went back to talking.
The person she was talking to, turned slightly.
Slowly, she could only see the side of his face.
Looked vaguely familiar.
Yet, it gave her a rather unpleasant feeling...an old feeling which she hadn't felt for years.
Since childhood.
She gave herself a shake. Since childhood? She was as usual over thinking things.
The prickly feeling remained.
Her sister looked exasperated at her expressions. She said something to the person, and walked towards her.
The person followed.
She saw him properly.
She knew that face, well. But wasn't able to remember the name.
That face was strangely associated with some strange  feelings....which suddenly surged now again.
Feelings of embarrassment and nervousness which she hadn't felt since she was nine.
"Aisha." Her sister called out to her.
She shook her head again. The stranger came up to her again, and put out his hand. He introduced himself.
"We were in the same class, weren't we, Aisha?" He said with a laugh.
And then she remembered.
It had been an insignificant memory at that time. Or, to anyone she had related it to. They had laughed it off, saying that these were small things.
They were not important in "the long run".
Yet, at that moment, she remembered him clearly. She heard the words again, which she hadn't heard in  twelve years.
She had tried helping him, with some work. She knew that.
He had been curt, and brutal. And responded in a manner which had shaken her for days to come. Everyone else had laughed with him. It was funny, of course.
To them.
She had rushed out. She hadn't cried. She just had a heavy feeling, which wouldn't let her breathe.
She wished she had cried it out, so that the feeling wouldn't engulf her later.
She had vainly tried to reply. But as usual, the moment had passed, before she could think of a good reply.
The moment of mortification.
People had laughed it off.  Nine year olds, fighting. What a silly thing to remember later. She couldn't explain to them.
It's funny what affects a child.
Years had gone by. That remark was mostly forgotten. But its feeling would occasionally appear  when she would try talking to people
She had forgotten so many other things.
But this feeling, she could never forget for some reason.
This sting remained. It had been the first time she had been spoken to, like that.
Of course now he barely remembered her. Why would he? It was insignificant.
"Tongue-tied as usual." He laughed.
It sounded mocking again. The nervousness was returning.
And finally, she took a deep breath.
"No, I barely remember you." She said coolly.
She took a sip of water, enjoying the look on his face.



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